Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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