Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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