I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
