Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How external is "for external use only"?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
