I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
