I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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