Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
