How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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