Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
