see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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