at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize