I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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