Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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