Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize