I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
