You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
