it's too hot outside to masturbate.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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