No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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