I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
