im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Enjoy the penises
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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