I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
