just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
