If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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