He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize