so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
