Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
