is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
