I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
