sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
