Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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