so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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