I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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