Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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