is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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