In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hippo gnu deer
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
