I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
