Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize