I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
