I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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