she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize