forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
