I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
