Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
should my penis look like a turkey
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
