Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
