she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
