How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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