Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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