Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
