im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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