No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
