Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
