so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
