Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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