no, he came in my armpit
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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