ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
