i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
