So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
