So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
