She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
