Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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