thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
