that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I CAN MOONWALK!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
