hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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