Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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