i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
