Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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