Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
