If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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