I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
