A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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