he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
