yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
