Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
