**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
