i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
