Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
