Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have aggressive nipples.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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